ON THE TURN .
Friday, June 03, 2005
i'm undertaking what feels like a grand tour of yorkshire, job- and house-hunting in addition to my regular primary activity of lying down, reading and playing music. hence my lack of posts.
and my pissed/pissed off state of mind can hopefuly excuse the shite i posted on here last. in all that tripe, there was the odd kernel of a decent idea. honest.
so prior to the cup final dissapointment, i was having a cracking weekend.
my girls aloud tickets had been kept safe with valuable items like my interpol and patrick wolf ones, as well as less valuable ones such as my passportfor what felt like forever.
so if nothing else, the chance to clear space in my
the gig-going party, wasn't quite as planned, with folk dropping out due to other commitments, which was something of a shame. not least because after getting in touch with quite literally every person i know in sheffield, i couldn't shift the last ticket for love nor money. [shame on the people of sheffield for being unwilling to change their friday night plans at the very last minute]
the gig was, at the very least, an odd experience. my first bona-fide pop gig, i wasn't expecting so many children. to be fair, i'm not too sure they were expecting the likes of me, judging by some of the looks i got- of which, more later.
obviously there was the overpriced merchandise. which i obviously bought a shedload of. and overpriced booze. ditto.
thus laden, we staggered to our seats. which, given my credit-card crisis of late december/early january, were at the very back ofthe arena. this considered, they were rather good. and gave us easy accses to an impropmtu dancefloor.
kute, the first support act- mighty impressive, after a bit of a creaky start. considering a] no-one had even vaguely heard of them, b] they two were two on a massive stage, they were great. if i find it/remember it exists, the single will be added to my collection.
cookie, the main support act, were less impressive, but not-all-that-bad-when-it-comes-down-to-it. at least they were in a simmilar vien to girls aloud, therefore didn't stick out too much.
by this point, i'd probably bored all around senseless blathering on about the girls, in the most annoying pedantic manner, so it was just as well the lights dropped once more.
what surprised me most, was the screaming.
i didn't think i'd have gotten that exited...
great set, nothing to major missed out, great sound, live band (noodling around prince guitar solos- can't recall which- during the far too long and frequent costume changes), fantastic performances, lots and lots of nice touches.
dancing, big, bearded and in a jacket with elbow patches, i probably didn't look like i belonged at that gig. but that didn't explain the strange looks i got off of the pre-teens. probably jealous, i guess.
why write about this gig more than any other before, probably?
a bit bored.
why trail off prematurely?
ditto.
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Sunday, May 22, 2005
-so, here i am, wandering around in my future. apparently, i'm a graduante, but short of applying to work in the co-op's warehouse, i'm not altogether sure what it entails.
i know that a fulfiling career, lovely home and all that jazz doesn't just fall into ones lap upon finishing a degree, but still.
i have a vague plan, but it is all rather daunting.
-the cup final, then.
shit.
we really should have won.
and, for the second year on the trot, ronaldo was robbed of man-of-the-match.
all in all, mighty disenheartening.
as is glazer. as expressed earlier.
a terrible, terrible mistake.
but i'm not too sure if i hold with all this breakaway fc-united business.
i, for one, love united. whatever setbacks we suffer.
the buyout by this cunt, terrible as it may be, is no different, fundamentally, than a relegation.
anyway, i've lost one club before. i refuse to go through it again.
we'll be back.
-superstar dee-jay?
well, yes i was. in my own little way, at least.
it was great fun.
i simply must do it again.
perhaps thats where my future lies.
yeah, right.....
-time flies, no?
this time last year, returning home to watch the cup final, i bought attitude for the scissor sisters cover.
and afterwards got all hot and sweaty dancing to filthy/gorgeous, which felt deliciously underground.
the same song soundtraked the pre-match warm up.
i found it odd, at least.
but the last year? fantastic.
i try desperately to avoid cheese.
so i settle for crypic instead.
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Friday, May 13, 2005
i'm not normally purple.
but even if i was, right now i'd be a very funny shade of it.
just the bilibilographies and contents pages to construct now.
eight hours to go
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One day when I came home at lunch time I heard a funny noise. Went out to the back yard to find out if it was one of those ruddy boys, stood there was my neighbour called peter and a flux capacitor.....need I go on?
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F I N I S H E D !
well, kind of. just the labourious process of footnoting to go now.
eleven-odd hours and counting....
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Thursday, May 12, 2005
in my previous singing of the university library's archetectural praises, i wasn't seeing the full picture.
i have spent my previous sessions here burried away in the stupidly-stuffy bowels of computer suite three when i could have been in the airy confines of suite number three.
a semi-balcony above one of the smaller reading rooms, this has been more sparsely occupied all day, and with big fuck-off twenty foot-high windows making up one wall looking east over netherthorpe, it should be a suitably dramtic place to spend my last night as the sun rises.
the desks, chairs and PCs are better here too, being (in turn) roomier, comfyer and fancy-daner.
how i regret not coming up here sooner.
but not long now.
[17.19.22 remaining]
and everything is nearly in place.
huzzah
an addition- i'm not so keen on this room now. i can see reflections in the window of those on the level below. its rather disconcerting.
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Loved the site. I created this site stools in the hope that it would be useful and informative. I hope you get a chance to take a look.
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i'm trying to rationalise why i'm putting off making the final push and finishing my dissertation.
the best reason i can come up with is that after extreme candle-burning, all thats holding me together and staving off the inevitable nervous/emotional breakdown is the fact that i've still some writing to do.
i just know that as soon as i print off my final version, let alone hand it in, the exertions of the past few weeks will take their toll.
the good folk of sheffield will see, possibly for the first time, someone sobbing uncontrollably whilst in a coma.
its kind of written now. it just needs formatting, a bit of explaintions of legislation adding and binding.
i have thirty-four hours.
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it would seem that over-size bottles of supermarket brand red bull knock-off are de riguer this week in the library.
i'm not one to buck a trend.
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so, after years of saying i was going to, i'm going to make my debut as a superstar dee-jay on tuesday.
i was going to make it at my own often-proposed-often-postponed night. but instead i'm muscling in on the university gays' out [pithy slogan- don't miss out] night in
and i've not got one of the shit opening slots. which is a blessing and a curse. i got it on the strength of being able to 'make folk dance'. which means given the [surprisingly] conservative-minded clientele, most of my selections will have to be at least half-familiar. odd mixes and obscure b-sides are surely the point of dee-jaying, though? oh well. i'm having fun with playlists now. they make a pleasant distraction.
but we're not permitted to use the turntables either, for some strange reason.
and i've only got half an hour.
but mustn't grumble. it should be a laugh.
do come along...
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
i heard the new stevie wonder track for the first time t'other day.
dissapointed much?
after spending all this time waiting, i'm feeling shocked, sadded, and cheated.
for fucks sake, its godawful.
all this time, and all we get is what sounds like a conversation peace outake.
i'm a fan of that album, i really am. but stevie was the innovator. he's not even trading on past glories anymore.
horribly outdated synths, a melody that isn't anything to write home about, and a weak vocal*.
really stevie, you shouldn't have bothered.
* something that normally i'd forgive. he's never going to get the rich tone of his youth back, but in this context, it just adds insult to injury.
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for the first time ever, i'm all alone in the computer suite.
i'm a tad worried that there was a big fire alarm, and me being in my be-headphoned state, failed to hear.
but i can't smell smoke, so i'm guessing i'm ok for now.
this last phase of writing is proving the hardest- i'm fully aware that the deadline is looming, but just can't motivate myself to give my work the final polish and push. which is, i know, fully in keeping with the general stupidity that has so characterised the writing of my dissertation.
'not long now' is causing me to relax, rather than galvanising me.
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Monday, May 09, 2005
i'm confident i'm going to finish, but i'm sure i'm going to neglect to mention something fundamentally essential.
i only just realised my [working] final draft included nothing about the shift away from an industrial economic base.
how daft.
actually, i think i've everything covered, and all of my writing done.
let there be rejoycing....
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i'm going to sound mighty pretentious here, but fuck it...
every now and then a piece of music comes along, and it just blows you clean away.
in my case, they invariably make me listen to them endlessly on repeat, whilst lying on my bed, doing a kind of horizontal dance. i've never done this in the company of others. for obvious reasons.
music like this can put me in a great mood for weeks on end.
more often than not, with me at least, these pieces of perfection have been performed by women- i believe in you, i think being the most recently released.
i'm talking today obviously about kelly osbourne's absolutely storming one word.
its been decried as a rehash of fade to grey. but how on earth is that a bad thing?
fantasic chris cox mix, and even better cover of sound of the crowd as b-sides.
man alive, i cannot implore youse enough to go and buy this.
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Saturday, May 07, 2005
word-count update: i'm sure you're all nervously standing by, gently pissing yourselves in anticipation.
unecessarily agressive, but i'm sleep deprived.
dissertation maximum limit- 12,000
amount i have written that i'm happy with- 8,000
amount of words i expect to fill in with my 'WRITE ABOUT X' spaces- 1,000
amount i've written about the miner's strike and all that- 1,500
so thats 9,500 actually written, with a bit of gap filling to do and half a chapter to write [apx. 1,500 words.], my dissertation should be a healthy 12,000 words.
looks like i should finish writing early.
but working to the deadline with edits.
bollocks.
and thats before i mention my one on the internet....
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i really want to return to the oh-so-witty-urbane-and-errudite* form of yore, that catapulted ontheturn into the nations hearts.
but what with making stupid bids on ebay (of which, more later) and struggling to chronicle the decline of british trade unionism/ the ease with which one can potentially contstruct a new personality online (to however small a degree) and thus alter our perceptions of what constitutes a community, i'm having difficulty in being witty-urbane-and-errudite. truth be told, i'm having difficulty staying awake.
plus there's the aditional worry of my lovely sister trapping her finger in a door, and having a nail, as a result, that resembles ziggy stardust, apparently.
so there.
i seem to be writing 2-3,000 words a day, but never getting any closer to finishing.
of course, by this stage [five-and-a-bit days, and, sadly, counting] 'finishing' translates as 'writing as close to the word count as possible, before collapsing in a state of nervous exaustion, and saying bollocks to proof-reading, let alone draft-marking'.
dicking about online probably doesn't help.
case in point with the word-count thing. i swear i was on 794 words about trade unions and equal pay legislation when i started writing this. which i've been doing in fits and starts, between churning out what i thought were long paragraphs. current word count? 800. bollocks.
i'm also torn between refering to refer to the social contract as a 'ronseal policy- in many respects, it did what it said on the tin'. or maybe that should be 'ronseal-esque'. should i? answers on a postcard please.
away from academia, vinyl then.
a word i'm still having difficulty spelling.
i am, if i'm honest, more than slightly addicted.
i took the fatal, retrograde step on my birthday way back in october.
my collection started modestly- a few pieces i couldn't help buying over the years, even though i had no means of playing them. but, as inevitably happened shortly began to spiral out of control.
seven inch singles are my favourites.
[889 words BTW]
they just look beautiful. i mean, my vinyl copy of for your pleasure shows up the cd for as the pale imposter it is, but there is something even nicer about the very notion of the 7".
that sleeves are more often than not made of paper seems gloriously lo-tech to my cd-jewel-case accustomed eyes. i mean paper. ha!
but i'm an addict. so don't expect proper. rationale from me. i'm just scrabbling for justification. the seven inch is just fundamentally right, ok.
and the cost. a factor which by buying so many is fundamentally undermined, but still...
no more than two quid for a current one, more often than not only 99p, and between 20 and fifty pee in the charity shops. sorted. ebay, of course, varies. as i'm finding to my cost. a statement which, of course, imean literally. fuck.
trouble is, as i say, i'm buying a lot. five or ten a week. plus my usual intake of cd singles. and albums. and 12"ers.
and other so-called 'necessities', like booze. and going gadding. and food. and rent...
ah well.
[971 words now. my total is just under 8k. i think. or at least it should be....]
*i'm hating myself as i write this, honest. i just can't stop though.
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the wonderful new doctor who is, i'm guessing, univerally appreciated.
the lovely not-for-much-longer new doctor who, alrady held in high regard by me, just gets better and better
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Friday, May 06, 2005
one of the wonderous things about the election result oddly not mentioned by the media is the fact that i don't need to change my dissertation round to reflect shifts in the political landscape.
huzzah!
i could write about how fantastic it is to see labour installed as the natural party of government, but i don't want to come across too twatty.
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Thursday, May 05, 2005
just so you know- my plans for today.
stay in the library, ostentiously working, for another hour or so.
then head up to the sorting office to collect some post, before returning home for a quick nap.
then over to manchester to vote, perhaps napping when there.
return to sheffield in the early evening, where i'll be watching the election at a friends, til, i'm guessing the tories concede*, which i guess [once more] will be at around three.
then i'll return to the library for more work.
daunted much?
*idiotic electorate/god willing...
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word counts can, at the end of the day, be significantly increased by the shoehorning of metaphor, simile, cliche (and asides) like there's no tomorrow.
and, indeed, reiterating the same point like its going out of fashion...
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Tuesday, May 03, 2005
-rapid fire observations. for now, at least.
-the library is fuller than in the past. peversely, there is a drop in feelings of community spirit.
-the new new order album, waiting for the siren's call is, all things considered, mighty fine. but even when i was listening for the first time, oddly familiar. jetstream, the gloriouis ana matronic collaboration is going to be a great single [not least for the jaques lu cont/arthur baker/richard x mixes], but the video, like the album, oddly predictable. i just knew how it'd unfold...
-not that i'm really complaining.
-i am, however, complaining about trade unions. at this moment in time, i could well do without them. this writing is killing me.
-so too is writing about the internet. top tip; if one is intending to basde a large piece of work around the writings of one academic, try to read it carefully in advance to ensure that he supports yourmain argument. i'm now reduced to dismissing the very-wonderful manuel castells as an idiot. something i'm not too pleased by...
-as i've said in the past, talking heads remix albums are much better than they ought to be. in particular, i'm thinking of the milwaukee mix of hey now, augmented by childrens choir.
- the fuzztival, or at least may day BBQ section of it wasn't as good as last years. though drinking cocktails in torrential rain, and then resenting those who ran for cover, only to return when the sun returned was great fun
-as is mel hutchwright in corrie. but why no liz in the book group? did i miss something?
-the scousers in the final is perhaps the classic lesser of two evils situations. they have no chance. i hope...
-t.s. elliot apparently opened this here library. putting levenshulme's alderman alfred logan into the shade somewhat.
-giant pots of raspberry yoghurt are not, on reflection, the best foodstuffs to bring into a learning environment.
-but they are more socially considerate than chips. i'm talking to you, opposite and in yellow
-intermittent phonecalls are all that keep me going.
-my batteries died. however, i finally managed to work out how to play music on the computer. i fear for my idiotic/luddite tendancies, i really do...
-in order to finish all my work, i must write approximately four more words for every one that i've quoted. which when compared with my previous ration on 6,000 original woprds for every one quoted, is quite a siesmic shift in writing style.
-god bless whoever invented the desk fan.
- crazy ebay bids aren't, as popular legend dictates, connected to sobriety [or the lack thereof], instead correlating with the hour of the day. i'm trying to steer clear of 4am.
-etc
-etc
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Saturday, April 30, 2005
ok, its now my third late-night library session.
and in these three nights, i've very probably spent more time in here than i have in the past three years combined.
its remarkable whatthe fear of not even scaping a second will do.
as a result of this time spent, i have noticed how very beautiful our opened-in-1959 library is.
with it being ajoined to the hideous cod-soviet monster that is the arts tower, i've never paid much attention to its aesthetic side. again, not that i've been in here long enough to notice.
but its all very space age, with almost all original features.
and, as ever, the devil is in the detail.
the door handles, light switches and hand rails are all, for instance, fantastic.
the perfect soundtrack to this building?
early human league.
obviously.
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Friday, April 29, 2005
the pet shop boys official site sells selected items of their back catalogue.
which is rather cool.
the cd single of you only tell me you love me when you're drunk, for example retails at six quid.
but poundland in sheffield sells it too.
for, unsurprisingly, one pound.
oh the crazy nature of capitalism...
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apparently ontheturn , back in the day, suffered from a lack of popular culture commentry.
i could begin to redress this percieved failing right now with a review of the editors who i saw around two hours ago.
but to honest, i can't really be all that arsed.
they were good, like.
and i enjoyed them.
its just that they were a tad unremarkable.
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Thursday, April 28, 2005
currently stretching my library stint into an all-nighter in order to get a bus home rather than walk.
crazy, no?
but not as crazy as my whole attitude to work.
like most folk, i tend to leave stuff as late as possible.
but i've been lecture and seminar-free since december, yet have only properly started working in the last two weeks.
which, as i'm finding this writing lark quite easy, leaves me thinking lots of 'what ifs'.
like what if i'd started sooner.
i could be in bed by now...
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with less than a month to go before my two [yes, two*] dissertations are due in, and me woefully behind, what better time to return to life online?
being busy with work [real work. the aforenentioned -wonderful fun, albeit knee destroying- removalling job] and then getting a nasty, nasty virus helped keep me offline. then really messing up the reformatting of my formerlly lovely machine just put the boot in.
right now, i'm sick to death of both trade unions and notions of the creation of new identities online.
just so youse all know the kind of crap i'm forced to ponder.
more later as i continue to milk the 24hr library special....
*well, not really. one of them is, whilst t'other is, apparently, a 'project' but requires as much work.
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Monday, January 03, 2005
with much less fanfare than the inagural effort, here come the begininings of the ontheturn annual awards.
bullshit and waffle about them, soon to follow.
*******************************
OTT’s
First of the Gang to Die- Morrissey
Chewing Gum- Annie
Some Girls- Rachel Stevens
You Were The Generation That Bought More Shoes, And Got What You Deserve- Johnny Boy
Take Your Mama- Scissor Sisters
What You Waiting For? - Gwen Stefani
Decent Days and Nights- Futureheads
Comfortably Numb- Scissor Sisters
Musicology- Prince
Jesus Walks- Kanye West
Kick It- Peaches and Iggy
OTT’s Ten Albums OTY-
Scissor Sisters- Scissor Sisters
Love Angel Music Baby- Gwen Stefani
Real Gone- Tom Waits
Who Killed the Zutons? - The Zutons
What Will the Neighbours Say? - Girls Aloud
You Are The Quarry- Morrissey
The Futureheads- Futureheads
Coming On Strong- Hot Chip
Kleptomania- Mansun
Van Lear Rose- Loretta Lynn
OTT’s Ten Gigs OTY-
Peaches w/ Kissogram @ Manchester Academy
Scissor Sisters @ Leadmill
Nastyfest I @ Faversham, Leeds
Me @ Fuzztival, Sheffield
Move Festival @ Old Trafford CC
Kings Have Long Arms/ The Lovers @ Razor Stilletto, Sheffield
Har Mar Superstar@ Fusion & Foundry
Patti Smith w/ Television @ Manchester Academy
Rufus Wainwright@ Sheffield Octagon
the Rapture w/ Futureheads @ Fusion & Foundry
OTT’s Ten Videos OTY-
Comfortably Numb- Scissor Sisters
What You Waiting For? - Gwen Stefani
The Show- Girls Aloud
You Will, You Won’t- The Zutons
Fit, But You Know It- The Streets
In The Middle- Sugababes
Take Your Mama- Scissor Sisters
Flamboyant- Pet Shop Boys
Laura- Scissor Sisters
Chewing Gum - Annie
OTT’s Five TV OTY-
Shameless- c4
Angels in America- c4
The Mighty Boosh- BBC3/2
Coronation Street- ITV
Early Doors- BBC2
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Sunday, January 02, 2005
so, another new year.
a time for reflection and all that.
but right now, i can't be all that arsed.
i have a tentative review of '04 in my head.
which should come soon...
*********
that i find the mechanics of actual postal mail more remarkable than those involved in e-mail.
electronic transmission i take for granted. the transport of physical items causes me to stop and think.
how post-modern of me...
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
bad writing can affect you far more than the good stuff.
i had my first corrie dream in fifteen years of watching last night.
bizarre...
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Monday, December 20, 2004
ontheturn goes international.
tenerife, to be exact.
and, once more from the sublime to the riddiculous.ç
in this instance, coupland´s elanor rigby, to coronation street-the epic novel.
was was a pile of shite, the other not.
of course coupland was great.
the corrie book, however, was worse than i feared.
leaden prose, flat dialogue and far too many over elaborate explainations- alan bradley always held the prefix ´rita fairclough´s live-in-lover´
but the gravest insult of all, was what got left out- the aforementioned alan´s brush with tram, all of reg and so much more. des´death was reduced to one line,´and just that he´d had a heat attack at that. no macdonalds. no percy. and so on. for quite some time. no fiona. or fred. or....
in a 1,000 page book, the last fifeen years were dealt with in less than 100 pages.
to be frank, i´m over-reacting, but i feel horribly cheated and/or betrayed...
holiday reading somewhat marred.
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Saturday, December 11, 2004
hot chip, ripping off (i believe) auden got it wrong.
april is not the cruelest month.
nor is march.
it's december.
shit
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Friday, December 03, 2004
broadband is fantastic. obviously.
so many great things about it.
like being able to listen to online radio. without constant buffering.
like this one.
aside from the obvious glories of annie it features, at around the 12 min mark, you'll always find my in the kitchen at parties, my favourite song that i've only ever heard once before. and now i've found it here.
never leaving the house again...
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i sit here now, somewhat blitzed on a mix of white painkillers, rose wine and red bull.
for the record, i'm in blue clothes.
attempting to finish writing about post-industrialism and it's impact on democratic practices.
something i was enjoying doing.
but that wore off.
one can only write about the internet for so long without wanting to use it.
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Thursday, December 02, 2004
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Tuesday, November 30, 2004
readers of this here mess, should, in theory, be aware of the fact that yesterday, the wait was over, as what will the nieghbours say was realeased.
'starring', of course, girls aloud.
at this point, i should forwarn readers that postponed deadlines aside, i'm still in academic writing frame of mind.
and i'm about to discuss this album.
so you have been warned.
readers should also be aware that last week, gwen stefani unleashed the unstoppable love angel music baby.
and like i compared pride and prejudice with summat by anne tyler in my english gcse coursework back in the day, for no real reason other than i was reading the two at the same time, i'm going to contrast the two....
more than anything else, WWTNS sounds like a girls aloud album. and a fine one, at that. that girls aloud have their own distinguishabe 'sound' is far from a bad thing (less 'wall of sound', more rotating wall of death in a wind tunnel. in short, like a fairground...), but of course how much their sound is indebted to those kind folks at xenomania is debatable- not that is is automatically a bad thing, of course.
gwen's effort, LAMB, however, just sounds like a great album, full stop. neither album is tied to a particular genre, but the girls just sound a tad parorocrial. whilst stefani's (undeniably more expensive) album is glossy perfection, what will the neighbours say never really fulfils it's potential- take 'graffiti my soul'. don't get me wrong, it's fucking fantastic, but one can't help imagining that if the sound was a tad more polished, the production slightly glossier, the mix ever so slightly bouncier (as it inevitably would have been had ms. spears taken it up), it would begin to do itself justice. but then, perhaps, that kind of thing isn't where girls aloud are 'at, or even what they're about.
perhaps my expectations were unfeasable, perhaps the comparisons are unfair. after all, i've already played 'what will the neighbours say' more times in the last two days than i have 'love angel music baby' in the last week-plus.
which says it all really.
on constant rotation=great albums
ergo
girls aloud=(still) fantastic...
sorry for going on rather.
but i've catching up to do.
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bollocks.
back when i was writing this daily (days which are, incidentally, almost upon us/you again), i was able to record my opinions on the various musical extravangazas i witnessed.
like that do me bad things are reminicsent of zoot allures era zappa, but with the important distinction that they enjoy sex.
or that dancing with the ping-pong bitches isn't as much fun as you'd expect.
i'm sure society has mourned the loss of such insights...
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at last, something good to come of my dodgy knee(s).
namely a one-week extension to my essay on trade unions and the labour party.
god bless the noted academic steve ludlam, understanding soul that he is...
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Saturday, November 27, 2004
what a crazy thursday night.
first, strines moor, gone nine o'clock. for no real reson like, perhaps other than to be outside in the cold at night.
out in the wilds, far from civilization and under a full moon.
i made allusions to american werewolf in london.
my companions pissed all over my chips, pointing out we'd crossed the border into derbyshire, killing the mood somewhat...
until a grouse took fright, shitting us all up once more.
so we stayed, lying in the heather, talking shite for a good while.
which was, quite obviously, nice.
so, getting cold, we decided to head back.
until a thought hit me.
the seaside.
which is how i found myself in a packed corsa heading to bridlington in the wee small hours.
which was fucking great.
the front was completely deserted, so it was just me, my friends, a modest amount of booze and the sea and moon.
lovely.
so what if we didn't get back while gone five.
it was, to be frank, one of the nicest days/nights of the year.
so ta to all involved....
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Thursday, November 25, 2004
further indicators of my [mental] mental state.
i was up while gone three putting up another kylie border last night...
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Wednesday, November 24, 2004
a thought that has been occupying my mind far [far] too much in recent weeks-
the english language is fundamentally stupid. the name for each day contains the word 'day'.
i'm clearly going more than a little crazy...
that i'm begining to consider duran duran to be as cutting edge and significant as roxy music worries me also.
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Tuesday, November 02, 2004
i really need to get me and the internet sorted...
-o0o-
rufus on sunday night was rather good.
obviously.
but thinking about it, he really shouldn't work. i mean, faitly operatic tunes, delivered rather nasally isn't the most appealing of prospects. but somehow it does. certainly, it shouldn't be as warm...
i mean, way back when, when it was very much a family affair i enjoyed it.
but this time round, it was just rufus.
preceded, of course, by martha.
but most exiting was the new news [to me, at least] that want [two] is soon to hit the shelves. finally.
and the stuff from it sounded mighty fine. especially the orpheous re-working based around buckley [junior].
watching him last time round with my dad was nice [again, don't get me wrong], but sat next to ross this time round nicer. a tad pathetic, perhaps.
no over the rainbow either. which was nice.
-o00-
election night, usa.
as if youse needed me to inform.
i'm pro-kerry.
i think.
i mean part of me shares the [somewhat morbid, twisted etc.- not thaty she is] view of http://ameliajane.blogspot.com [incidentallyt, i'm not liking this new way of linking. nor indeed much of the neo-blogger set up...], that its entertaining watching the global situation spiral ever downwards, so want bush to stay in.
but then i remember i'm an essentially compassionate person. and that he's a cunt.
but i should be careful what i wish for.
i feel somewhat to blame for bush getting in in the first blace.
i really didn't want gore to win, see.
on accounts of tipper's pmrc activites. the bitch.
i know i'm not in the slightest to 'blame', but still. the world's a bit of a bitch to me sometimes...
-o0o-
lately, i've taken to living dangerously.
when about to cross the road, i'll check the traffic, as per.
but if there is a car a safe distance away, i'll wait. and then wait a bit more, before crossing.
i'm not feeling a rush of air as i narrowly miss the bumper, nor am i forcing drivers to slam on their breaks. quite pathetic really. i'm not taking my life into my own hands, just hanging around on curbsides longer than i need to.
but not like that.
pathetic and sad, then.
but hell, i enjoy it...
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Saturday, October 30, 2004
can someone plase explain, after last weeks performance, how we can loose two-nil to portsmouth?
fuck.
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after visting the physiotherapist tuesday about my knees, i felt rather violated.
and, to be frank fucking sore.
since returning to the steel city, my apparently fixed knees started acting up again. which,. if nothing else has had the side-effect of me looking incredibly dapper/ like a total ponce as i wander the streets supported by my cane.
hence my apperance on gibb street [or wherever] to see the lovely lady in a tracksuit.
of course i expected her to ask me to drop my trousers, diagnosis would be impossible without.
but actually asking that i remove them felt, to me, a step to far.
so when she essentially cupped my arse to 'feel the line of my bottom', and later got me laid down with my legs spread as she leaned over me, i was past caring.
perhaps i over-reacted, and these are probably conventional physiotherapy practices, but i still felt more than a little cheap.
but the pain.
'when do they hurt?' she asked me.
'whenever. it comes and goes?' i replied
'well lets try and replicate the circumstances' she suggested.
i [innocentally] agreed.
but by replicating the circumstances, she actually ment 'allow me to twist, prod and streech your kneecap'.
ow.
again, probably essential.
and again, great for me in the long run.
but it still hurt like fuck.
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if, by some bizzare mishap, all student life got wiped out, all that would remain would be the times fridge-magnets-cum-bottle-openers.
there were already three of the fuckers disperesed around the kitchen when we moved in, and since then, a further two have appeared on the table.
who makes them?
or more to the point, who actually wants them?
-x-x-
internet acsess isn't yet as full as i'd like...
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
perhaps well-documented, perhaps not, but on accounts of my not wanting to appear too studenty [ie studenty at all], i've been loath to listen to screamadellica whilst resident in sheffield.
which is both stupid and a shame, as i rather enjoy whipping it out from time tt time.
it is even more stupid in the light of the penchant, recently developed, of mine for listening to the smiths and/or morriseys solo work, insisting on accoustic-guitar-based-singalongs in the front room and, above all going to university.
but what can you do?
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i'm back.
no, really.
see, i was going to pack this all in, dismiss it [once more] as self-indulgant rambling.
which, it clearly is.
but i was possesed, once more, by a desire to write.
and not just this shite.
and not just [nearly overdue] essays either.
so i will.
i'm told i've a tendancy to either assume to much knowledge of others or over-explain the obvious.
this is,i'm reliably informed, something of a character flaw. but fuck it. it could also be a useful stylistic device...
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004
so, where to begin?
a spot of housekeeping, perhaps.
truth be told, a combination of internet fatigue, and having a life [of sorts], conspired to prompt ontheturn to go on holiday.
which, for a start fucked over the T!LF project. ah well. i enjoyed the tornament anyway.
the haitus also prevented me commenting on the gigs i attendend. patti smith and television [in short, cracking]. the whole move doo-dah [a civilised affair, taken in from the comfort of the seats, rug over knees and cucumber sandwhiches and battenburg in gob]. clinic [not too bad, buty not further on from their slot supporting the 'lips last year]. and the [hopefully] inaugral nastyfest in leeds [the futureheads and pink grease once more, plus assorted half-familiar freaks and motherfuckers in a big old pub. obviously fantastic]
not to mention all manner of removaling exploits involving, amongst other things, [genuine] footballers' wives, minor gangland figures and other eccentrics. to be detailled, perhaps, once i leave the firm...
my descision to live in manchester and commute to sheffield has been shelved too. as was my intention to live anywhere bar the top of crookes. fuck.
normal service to be resumed shortly.
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Thursday, July 29, 2004
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Sunday, June 27, 2004
were i the type to precede my posts with lyrics or song titles, i could go with found a job, i was looking for a job then i found a job, heaven knows i'm [not] miserable now or perhaps the irony of it all.
i am, on a temporary basis at least, a removal man. and, to quote another song, its the best job i ever had.
seriously, it is.
twenty-two hours worked in my first two days. plus, of course tips. and tea.
confessions of a removal man?
nothing robin asquith-esque yet. or even, truth be told, that interesting. time will tell...
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Sunday, June 20, 2004
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Monday, June 14, 2004
first up, i know i'm meant to keep my euro 2004 comments restricted to T!LF, but sol campbell moustache? there is bot a time and place for such things. and sol is not a mexican bandalero at the turn of the century, he gets neither right...
moving back to manchester was less stressful than previous attempts, but sadly no job yet. no witty comments about it, mind.
and the fucking general public once more demonstrate what cunts they are. voting for the ukip? saints preserve us...
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Friday, June 11, 2004
i don't want to get all nick hornby on your collective arses, but sometimes one has no other option.
the art of the compilation tape [by which, what with me being dead technological, i obviously mean cd...] is rather hard to master, but i believe the years of practice that i've put in mean i'm rather damn good at it.
but the making of 'special' compilations is a minefield i've rarely entered. dillemma upon dillemma.
not only am i worrying about what's included, i'm having to consider how my selections can be interpreted, as well as, of coutrse, how i want them to be interpreted.
who'd be a sad, over-obseesive slightly paranoid music fan....
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Thursday, June 10, 2004
packing to move is hellish.
so i'm going to either-
a] live with my parents for ever and ever
or-
b] rennounce all material possesions.
my usual lack of motivation isn't helping much, either, truth be told...
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Wednesday, June 09, 2004
so.
the stanley makes it's way to the sunshine state.
fuck.
had, in the dim and distant past, i decided to go with my initial 'hey, the 'ning sound like the storm' feelings rather than 'hey, theo is fantastic' i may well be overjoyyed right now.
but i didn't, so i'm not.
i'm taking solace in the fact that calgary got this far instead.
go flames!
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Tuesday, June 08, 2004
i didn't enter the cinema to see the day after tomorrow expecting any realism or accuracy.
but one bit really grated.
the football commentry.
yes, us versus celtic made me feel all nice.
but why did the commentry use the american format?
putting the away team [ie us] first and the use of 'is' as opposed to 'are'. little things like that really piss me off. fucking concessions to american audiences...
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Monday, June 07, 2004
euro 2004 is less than a week away
i'm so exited, it hurts.
not least because i'm going to be watching it on a lovely telly.
now theres only the problem of work to fit around it...
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after complaining in them there comment boxes about the semi-civillian status of various members of pink grease, it would perhaps be hypocritical to change my position.
but fuck it, i'm going to.
friday night, down in the showroom for sheffield now+then, a celebration of sheffield music, built around a screening of made in sheffield.
which was most pleasant, and bristling with the cream of the city's avant-garde types. all tarted up, too. leaving me feeling a tad underdressed for the second night running.
saturday saw razor stilletto occour. again, most of the same folk in attendance, micro-celebrities one and all, but prompting me to feel rather big-time. but i never thought i'd find a club that played bowie. and roxy music. and psb. and depeche mode. and bowie. and the scissor sisters. and other stuff i'm too pissed to recall, but was great the same.
roll on the next one, i'm hopelessly in love...
sunday saw me seeing harry potter.
no comment on the film from me, bar the fact my head is reeling at the ian brown cameo.
but the film is, i'm sure sensible folk will agree, for children. the screening i attended, though not bursting at the seems, was rather full. but all the audience looked like they could vote. which leaves me worrying [a little] for humanity's future...
HOWCOULD I FORGET- the lovers. french and fucking fantastic. had i not seen so much great music this last week, i'd have declared them the best thing ever. in such great company, however, third isn't half bad...
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Saturday, June 05, 2004
so, barring [perhaps likely] resits, thats exams over until christmas.
huzzah!
now i've just got to find somewhere to live...
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Friday, June 04, 2004
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time travel, is, apparently possible.
so is all that inter-dimensional bollocks.
last night i found myself in [what i can only guess was] an alternative 1972.
what does this mean? i was at pink grease at the fez, than.
fun.
it was a great gig. great, but not, as i must add, in my own somewhat strange lexicon, life-affirmingly so.
as one should, i'll start with the support.
dodgems, were, i believe, the first up. and they had such am impressive array of hair it was scary. all properly cut, styled and washed. very nice, but sadly their music, pleasant as it was couldn't keep up.
so thats them dismissed then.
kit had, once more, lovely hair. indeed, lead singer man's bryan ferry circa 1971 mop only has increased my desire to go for something simmilar. musically they were ok. nice clothes too.
see, i'm focusing on the superficial because thats what i feel the night's music was about- lokking good first, posturing well second [donning spangly gloves mid-song and the like] and cracking tunes a distant third.
i'm glad i saw kisso gram supporting peaches.
which is not to say that pink grease themselves weren't great. because they were. lead singer man lookied like a cross between ronno and, as one of my companions for the night pointed out, dolph lundgren [but not, as i thought i heard, todd rundgren...], eyelined, haired and dressed accordingly. the gig was, if nothing else, a lot of fun- lots of jumping, wandering through the audience and swapping instruments, sounding musically like, rather oddly, early mothers of invention freak outs [though not nescicarrily from freak out!]. so i can hardly complain about that, can i?
so yes, it was a great gig. a big old scene? perhaps. folk certainly seemed to know one another. but that means, as we [ie i] have discovered in the past, fuck all by way of guaruntee....
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Tuesday, June 01, 2004
i know its going to happen someday. and by that, i obviously mean that it already has happened.
and by 'it' [i know this is getting convoluted. bear with me...] i mean me getting right pissed off with corrie.
which i did last night.
i'm not talking about exasperation at roy's non-sticking up for todd, but real anger.
kirk's aquisition of one of my favourite shirts [ben sherman, the hard days night artwork repeated over and over,for the record]which i've only just started to wear got me riled somewhat.
but bradley motherfucking walsh?
where to start. wrong in so many ways.
compare the introduction of his character with that of, say, charlie [who i apparently have a fight on my hands with my mam over..].
slow, gradual building up of storylines vs in your face cockney bollocks.
tip top my arse.
he'd better improove.
sharpish.
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Monday, May 31, 2004
desmond decker declaring his love for oldham council is something i thought i go to my grave without hearing.
but thanks to that august body, i now can cross that off my 'to-do' list.
especially given that it was free, it was fucking great.
a sunny day, following a fine set by nitin sawhney and an equally good spell behind the decks by clint boon, i was, of course, predisposed to enjoy his set.
but it was great in it'sown right. ok, he didn't have a horn section, and the midi re-creation grated and cheapened the experience at times but his exuberence and class overcame such small flaws.
given his age, the tiny desmond moved with alarming agility. obvious point to make, but essential nonetheless.
a legend deserving of the label.
and the crowd? diverse as i've ever seen in my life. old jamacian men in suits, sipping rum [i'm guessing] from paper bags. extended indian families. middle class white folk, so liberal that it hurts. and of course, those you'd expect to live in oldham- white, working class, dripping in cheap gold and clad in polyester.
and not one hint of tension.
not wanting to get smug, preachy or pretentious, but i have reflection on this.
fucking great
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so much to write.
so little [self-imposed] time.
i watched childrens telly yesterday [with reason, honest.]
obviously, i feel dirty.
a feeling exacerbated by the fact that d-side's latest offering pleased me far more than phixx's.
but i was up for girls aloud.
the show, fine as it is, better had be a grower....
and now, proper music.
namely the wainwright travelling circus.
wow.
i'd heard good things about other legs of the tour, so was perhaps over-exited about it.
but, fact is, just about the only thing that could've made that gig any better would have been a guest appearance from tom waits. it was that good.
it wasn't, as i hoped, in the velvety smaller theatre in the lowry, but i'm not really complaining about that. and, seemingly as ever, swathes of the audience were far to eager to be entertained, rolling in hysterics almost at the slightest amusing comment. but i rose above it, not letting it detract from the glory of the evening.
it wasn't all rufus, but it almost was for me. like yungchen llhamo in the same venue a few years back, i was amazed that so much voice came out of so little person. and his solo stints were, on top of that, perfect replicants of his studio work, but somehow better. a touch to camp in his inter-song banter for my liking, any failing was more than compensated for by his interaction with the rest of those on stage.
i'm not sure how much of it was staged, but the familial bickering was perfect- exasperated, telling his mam not to tell the audience that the theatre was on fire as a joke, rufus endeared himself to me even further.
the contributions wrom martha, anna, kate and lilly were, unsurprisingly, fantastic too. and perhaps even nescicarry- a full set of rufus, would, perhaps, drag.
i'd also like to record a notable first- i noticed what the lighting technicians were doing- subtle changes really do make a difference.
in short, the gig was endearingly chaotic with moments of high beauty interspersed. a touch on the short side, but marvelous nonetheless....
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Wednesday, May 26, 2004
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Tuesday, May 25, 2004
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Monday, May 24, 2004
i'd like, very much, to write about the scissor sisters.
of course, i have before. and i will again.
but i'm liking them very much right now.
over the weekend, i spent the best part of a tenner on magazines [including time out. i felt dirty for betraying the cheaper, far superior city life...] for maybe ten pages of writing about them. nice pictures, too, i suppose.
what'd i learn?
the babbydaddy and jake's strange relationship, and that they're digging todd rundgren. the latter is currently serving as my excuse [not that i need one] for whipping out a wizard, a true star, and demonstrating perfectly one reason why i love them so.
no band in [my] memory has drawn together so many of my favourite music.
and i kind of don't like that.
much like i kind of don't like them exploding overground.
great stuff should be kept to the elite.
ie, me...
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Saturday, May 22, 2004
ok, some parts of my prediction were right.
the goal times not too far off, and ruud did get the second.
but fuck it, that doesn't matter. because we won.
so huzzah!
the jimmy davis tribute was my second most moving experience of the day for me.
number one being a [lovely]phone call from my [lovely] sister in [possibly lovely] malasia, the first time i've heard her voice since she left.
it is shaping up, feeding animals in the park notwithstanding, to be a perfect day...
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Friday, May 21, 2004
the cup final is, quite obviously, looming large in my mind.
maybe it's self-delusion, but the old-school romanticism of the FA is causing so much exitement.
i mean, i'm making my third trans-pennine trip in as many days to see it.
it should be great.
a three-one win.
giggs to get the opener, with ruud netting the second before half time.
they'll pull one back at the hour mark, before scholes pops up in the 75th the seal our victory.
it's hardly worth watching, really...
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pop! are playing in sheffield tonight.
fierce girl in manchester.
and i'll be in attendance at neither.
instead, i'll be at the [very pricey] politics ball.
i'm not really complaining, but i doubt i'll make almighty...
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link to an article for no real reason, beyond the fact that kurt vonnegut is one of the best things ever...
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Thursday, May 20, 2004
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Wednesday, May 19, 2004
don't leave me hanging on the telephone.
waiting for calls is fucking shite.
as is still not having next years house sorted...
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there is a purple or mauve powder in the Commons....
bring on spartacus mills.
granted, it was a pretty serious breech of security, so such flippancy is probably out of place. but fact is, some powder paint+politicans= over-reaction.
nice to see politics in action unfolding before my eyes, mind.
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Monday, May 17, 2004
shit.
exams just over a week away.
cause enough for concern.
but exams just over a week away, and my history of ideology notes go bye-bye.
fuck.
etc.
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Sunday, May 16, 2004
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i can now declare this the second annual ontheturn eurovision review.
which is more than a little pathetic, perhaps.
but here it is.
what fun.
no, really. it was.
how odd that watered-down ska revival revival revival was so popular.
my vote went to macedonia, for the record. but less for the song, more for looking a bit like prince. which is, of course, A Good Thing. that and the ribbons out of coat/lots of arms bits.
if youse want more detailed commentry, you can whistle for it.
or head off to lowculture for their [inevitably] fabulous review...
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Saturday, May 15, 2004
so, ontheturn is a year old.
in keeping with the spirit of my original entry, i am more than a little pissed.
i'm surprised, to be honest that this has lasted as long as it has.
originally intended as a way to keep my [lovely] sister informed of how the shitty situation with the cunts i used to live with was going without spending money on texts, this, my forth attempt at blogging [the far too angst-y previous attempts are, thankfully, lost down the back of the internet] developed into something more.
yes, it helped me [no exageration here] maintain my sanity, but it has also developed into a place to vent my spleen, and also serves as a [surprisingly useful] record of what i did, and when. which is nice.
to mark this [not very] momentous occasion, i had intended to list 366 [one for every day this has been running] Reasons To Be Cheerful. but at 170-odd, i was beginning to both flag and struggle.
so, in the end, just some thank-yous, to massage my sense of self-importance.
ta to all who have read this mess.
especially to those who have deigned to contact me.
thanks to all those whose own blogs have inspired mine.
but, most of all, cheers to everyone who, unwittingly or not, has contributed in whatever way to ontheturn by interacting with me in some form. even if you are a cunt.
in general, and in all categories, you know who you are...
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Friday, May 14, 2004
having no credit on one's own phone is a pisser.
ones credit card not working prevent one from topping up is more so.
especially when one [fuck it, i am] is trying to co-ordinate a night out.
the local shops not stocking the relevant vouchers only compounds the situation.
but spending one's return bus fare from town on ravonettes remix cds makes it all worthwhile.
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sweet jesus! moment of the week.
john cooper-clarke was fucking nico, apparently.
this nugget was in the public domain, but passed me by until this morning.
i damn near dropped my toast.
whatever next?
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Thursday, May 13, 2004
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two posts in quick sucsession.
sorry.
but now is the time for highbrow thought.
or just putting off work/looking for somewhere to live like a fool.
expanding on one of my seminars this afternoon*, and in keeping with my long-standing anger at media distortion.
all of this [admitedly awful] hoo-ha in iraqi prisons though.
the actions [even if those actions in question was being stupid enough to take pictures, regardless of them following orders or not] of a literal handful having potential to shift the policy and direction of the world's only bona-fide superpower on a major issue.
which, in a peverse way, kind of makes one feel good about oneself.
maybe i'm not that insignificant afterall.
if the teeth come off the smallest cog, the biggest machine can gring to a halt; we all have our own parts to play in this ever-shrinking world. who can tell what the ramifications of our actions will be.
which is, as i say, rather uplifting, no?
*see, youse get the benefits of being in such a rareified academic environment, without the fees, reading lists, early starts or having to walk up conduit road. lucky bleeders...
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it has been a fine old week for soaps, no?
over in classic corrie, we've had three fantastic [and memorable] storylines.
doug living in a camper van [comedy]
percy's proposal to olive [poignant]
and, the greates soap comedy scene....ever, reg and maureen in the leaky waterbed, which was even better than i remembered it being.
real-time corrie has been delightful too, of course. the ted thai bride scam is full of potential, the revamped underworld is right classy [but a missed oppertunity to bring angie back in, if you ask me. but then again, every episode is a missed oppertunity to do that...], the worrying realisation that i might actually be les [not literally, of course.], chesney getting out of the dishes because he is thinking, and of course the todd/karl scandal. great stuff.
hell, even the last week of eastenders was tolerable. largely down to the glory that is janine, of course.
after almost one month going cold turkey from it, hollyoaks has it's claws back in me.
am i alone in wanting toby to knock off izzy from beyond the grave?
the british soap awards were also watched [by me].
inbetween mangling syntax, of course.
the ashley/claire will they/won't they episode [1st march, or there abouts] really was the best episode of any soap in the last year. therefore, was robbed.
as was bombhead for comedy performance, chesney for performance by a young 'un [if nothing else, an 8 year-old's acceptance speech would have been class...].
but the biggest travesty was charlie stubbs [bill ward, of course] not winning the coveted 'sexiest male'.
nigel who?
the public, once more proove their idiocy and lack of taste.
cunts.
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Wednesday, May 12, 2004
i'm trying not to get too over-exited about the flames continuing progress.
but who'd have thought how much a little sucsess could reignite my interest in hockey...
me? a glory fan? who'd have thought that either. truly, we live in enlightening times.
elsewhere, last night i think i may have impressed the generally irritating in-pub dj [yes, i am aware that ontheturn is rapidly turning into a disck-jockey fetish site...] by requesting he bang on police and theives.
hair gel is fantastic, too i've discovered.
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Monday, May 10, 2004
ralf little in a tracksuit probably isn't the best excuse for watching two pints of lager and a packet of crisps.
anyone care to provide me with a better [more socially acceptable*] one?
*of course, watching two pints... is far from socially acceptable. but that's beside the point.
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'exiting' new project ahoy.
i am rather looking forward to the upcoming euro 2004 tornament.
but i am aware that the majority of my massive readership, don't give a tinker's cuss about football.
the majority of youse probably didn't get the 'massive' reference, for example.
which is why, to spare the uninterested from boredom, i'm going to be running a seperate, limited-edition blog for the tornament.
twat! liquid football. or, as every-one [ie no-one]is calling it for short, T!LF.
the title of which, obviously paraphrases some alan partridge commentry.
i toyed with football. bloody hell., but since that [as i'm sure you're delighted to hear] ontheturn will still be the depository for my united reflections, the name wouldn't be quite right.
sorry for the dull housekeeping.
twat! liquid football is nothing to do with liquidfootball.the twat makes all the difference. a statement that is true in most fields, of course.
neither am i jumping on any bandwagon. honest. kopstar is a beast of a very different nature.
but twat! liquid football will be up and running soon...
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ok, so t'other day i slag off the politics department.
and just to proove me wrong, perhaps, they willingly reallocated modules. just like that.
from contempary african politics to post-industrial utopians at the stroke of a pen.
while i'd kind of gotten used to, and was kind of looking forward to the african module, envisioning being able to pass off laying down listening to youssou n'dour for hours as 'study' and buying up the back catalogue of khaled as an academic aide, i'm more than chuffed that i'm back on my first choice.
if nothing else, i'm guessing its more fun to feel pretentious than it is to feel worthy.
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Sunday, May 09, 2004
claire from out of corrie. just about the only person on the planet who could wear a shirt emblazoned with an image of blue tits without it coming off as innuendo...
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worrying developments
perhaps encouraged by my happy experiences on his patented punk rock kareoke earlier in the week, i foun dmyself listening to steve lamaq on the radio to-day.
bad enough, no?
but whilst listening to said programme, i found myself rather enjoying a number by [whisper it] radiohead.
oh dear.....
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reflections on the week-end [slight return].
i've already praised last nights superstar dj, bussed in special from london.
the thing unmentioned so far, however, was the refreshing nature of barely recognising a soul.
one of the bad things about having a routine such as mine is that after a while, you recognise every fucker in a given club. and, when one considers the fact that the same folk go to the same clubs, the situation is exacerbated somewhat.
so as i say, not knowing the faces of anyone beside my companion for the night and a [literal] handful of others, was rather fun. perhaps even a tad liberating. so, even if the music had been shite, the night would have been worth it. but it wasn't, so i kind of win twice over.
of course, my schedule for next week is achingly familar. once again, all mouth....
and now, the rapture.
the first time i've seen an act so unaware of their music, a fact to be rectified at the first possible oppertunity.
they were fucking fantastic.
really very good.
but i'll start, as is my wont, with a [slight] complaint.
i wasn't exactly expecting them to look like the scissor sisters, but i do expect a fancy-dan, uber hep set of nu new-wave new yorkers to clad themselves in something a touch fancier than jeans and t-shirts. hell, even the [also very good] support act and seeming full-time jam plagarists saw fit to don burton shirts [presumably because they thought it funny to turn rebellion into money.....sorry].
but, scruffy look aside, on-stage a polished performance. not-quite freaky dancin' from the alto saxophonist/cowbeller [best, but sadly only i've seen since the zutons/goldfrapp respectively], guitar used like shoulder-mounted rifle, warmly entering the crowd and more stuff than i can remember now.
musically reminiscent [obviously] of the mondays and 'heads, but also evocotive at times of rock n roll suicide.
again, one cannot entuse too much, 'twas that good.
how i wish i wasn't too young/not born for baggy/ new wave first time[s] round. but god bless such revivalism....
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Saturday, May 08, 2004
i really don't want to make it three dj-centric posts on the trot.
but proper disc jockeys as opposed to folk who just play records are fantastic.
last night, we had a lovely segue between the bongos from rock the casbah into the hardest button to button. genius.
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Wednesday, May 05, 2004
again with the dj-ing firsts.
i may have spent over a year slagging off dempseys.
and rightly so.
but last night, unbidden and unexpected, they bang on filthy/gorgeous.
which redeems the establishment somewhat.
not enough, mind....
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Tuesday, May 04, 2004
in all the iggy hoo-ha, i neglected to mention the biggest kick i got out of a simple thing.
patrick wolf being played by someone not me.
something i'm sure happens, but have never actually heard.
patrick wolf being played on a big old pa during an afternoon of drunkeness and debauchery was equally rare.
but it happened.....
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new adventures in kareoke.
apologies for the shit opening line.
but until last night, i hadn't realised how much fun it is.
and in particular, the indie wet dream that is steve lamaq's punk rock kareoke.
the former mr evening-session endorsed varation is the traditional screen with lyrics scrolling. but instead of cheap midi versions of popular hits, you're acompanied by a rather fine live band. on the proper stage. you know, the one used for gigs. in front of a [not really] capacity crowd.
which is, quite obviously, even for non-extroverts such as myself, fucking fantastic.
ok, but aside from the adulation [i never thought i'd enjoy being repeadedly shaken by the hand and called a 'legend' by drunken folk], the very best thing about my kareoke [of any sort] debut was the fact that for those few minutes, i got to be iggy.
which, on stage, let me tell you, is much more fun than in front of the 'kick it' dvd single. which is fun, too, admittedly.
my performance, although lacking in any true vocal ability [my pre-bar singing was described as akin to 'a drunk old irishman'. which i eventually learned, is apparently a bad thing] was enthusiastic.
largely, i kind of shouted. i ad-libbed to. adding got knows how many extra rounds of 'la la las' and 'he rides and he rides'. as well as a liberal helping of obscenities. although i chickened out of, in metallic ko style, of begining it with '1-2- fuck you pricks', as i felt i needed the audience on my side....
but part of being iggy, as we all know is the onstage self-mutilation.
sadly, the only drinking vessels in the club were made of plastic. not that they were allowed on stage [how very rock and roll....]
so, short of glassing myself, i took the only avenue open to me, and repeatedly twatted my head with the microphone.
sadly, the bruising isn't in the lattice pattern of the mic head. hopefully it'll go away soon though.
IT WAS GREAT. AND MORE THAN WORTH IT. ['it' in this case being unsightly discolouration and a fucking sore head...]
so not just because of all the cheap booze i drank earlier in the day, the fact i was sat in the sun drinking cheap booze nor the fact that i was in pleasant company, in the sun and drinking cheap booze, i had a fucking fantastic day.
crappy photos are even knocking about.....
but i am the passenger.
i ride, and i ride.
etc.
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Monday, May 03, 2004
in another attempt to put off working in the wee small hours last night, i stumbled across rush on channel four.
acording to my other listings magazine that is available, it is/was 'a compilation of the vee-tv drama'.
according to me, it was the most subtle drama i've seen in fucking ages.
with a largely deaf cast, at least half of the dialogue was signed, but oddly this was no problem. i don't mean in terms of understanding, it was subtitled, but in terms of acting, everything was conveyed convincingly. i knew when folk were angry.
alas, i know little about the programme. beyond the fact that if ever anything deserved a prime-time slot.....
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like the self-indulgant and frustrated [is there any other kind?] columnist that i quite clearly want to be, my musings of the past few days follow.
-0-
out on the tiles friday night notwithstanding, i've been living in a self-imposed exile of sorts. which, short of someone getting all clockwork orange on my arse and strapping me down in front of a screen and showing me vision of a degree-less future, is just about the only way i'll get stuff finished before the latest round of looming deadlines.
but the lonliness, although not quite killing me, is a touch difficult to live with. hence my desire, every three hours or so, to send off yet another batch of pointless text messages. until i get at least one reply, i find it difficult to continue analyising the changing conception of the notion of equality throughout liberal thought.
why this is, i'm not too sure. am i that existentially insecure that i need confirmation from others that i'm still alive?
or just that neurotic that i need reassuring [scarily frequentally] that i still have friends.....
-0-
crime fiction isn't the new rock n roll. [although one of the best descriptions i ever read of tom waits' music was in a rebus book- the delivery may be affected and pure theatrics, but the lyrics are as heartfelt as possible. or words to the effect.]
but it would seem that publishers are no more averse to repackaging parts of a writer's back catalogue that predate their breakthrough to look like 'new' material any more than record labels are to banging out whatever licesnced product they have with new photos on it. or those fucking 'special editions' i'm so susceptable too....
from the library t'other day, i got out a lovely new paperback by joe r. lansdale, the front of which proudly proclaimed 'authour of 'the bottoms'. and fair enough, i suppose it is.
but the thing about mr. lansdale is, aside from his [fantastic] lenoard pine/ hap collins series [second only to spenser/hawk in terms of PI/hard man pairings, in my book] and the sub-to-kill-a-mockingbird-but-still-rather-good-nonetheless-standalone-novel 'the bottoms' he churns out crap.
including the book i got out, the frankly predictable, staid and formulaic 'cold in july'.
and this isn't the authour's fault. hell, it isn't nescicarilly the publishers fault, but i feel rather cheated. i don't expect a book, first published in '89 to bear the title of the authours most recent work.
i don't mind reisuues, hell in some circumstances even welcome them- where else, for example, would i get my hands on good condition copies of the start of the 84th precinct series, say. and i'm always more than willing to delve into a writer's earlier works.
but this book was shite. and since i was looking forward to reading it, i'm subsequentally rather pissed off....
+0+
i am [sadly] not turning into brian eno.
but i am, of late, as i am prone to, from time to time, noticing that most music sticks to a very basic formula, and even with the possibilities that synthisized sounds have opened up, most music sticks to simple forms and traditional instrumentation.
on a more/less [you decide] pretentious level, i've also been noticing more and more that music is made up of notes.
which is not as obvious and daft as that first sounds. honest.
but even the most complex and avant-garde piece [of which, trust me, i'm familiar with many] is made up of individual noises.
again, this may seem stupifingly obvious, and perhaps it is. but i've been properly hearing music again.
which is fucking great. and going some way to reversing my semi-permanent jaded state of mind too....
+0+
and thats all.
for now.
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Friday, April 30, 2004
i could write about how great the beta band were last night.
i could write about how much i am [genuinely] looking forward to tomorrow's eu expansion.
but i can't really be arsed to do either.
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Thursday, April 29, 2004
first off, the politics department, in terms of staff, are wonderful.
i mean, taunting noted academics about the play-offs on grand staircases is mighty fun.
but in terms of organisation, they are, to be frank, utter cunts.
would it be that hard to e-mail us, say, the exam timetables? or perhaps even information on next year's module allocation?
no?
well why the fuck don't they?
indeed, when it comes to allocation, why not give everyone at least one of their two module preferences?
a rant that is of little interest to those outside my academic circle, mind, but summat i needed to vent about....
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Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Reason To Be Cheerfull, Part Three- calgary leading their play-off series against detroit, 2-1.
the flames being in the post-season is reason enough.
in the second round, more so.
but leading the all-stars to be....
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Tuesday, April 27, 2004
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Monday, April 26, 2004
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Saturday, April 24, 2004
meeting the sports minister at a poorly-attended labour youth meeting is one thing.
neglecting to ask his opinion on the bigot ron saga is quite another.
unforgivable, all the same...
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errata-an apology
simon davies, reviewer of second coming, quoted a few days back, got a fair few first team matches.
he even scored the opener in our 4-0 thrashing of galatasary.
god bless the pride of all europe dvd...
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Friday, April 23, 2004
someone may or may not have thrown a bottle at me last night.
the fact i can't remember for sure worries me more than the fact that someone took against me so [or not].
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Thursday, April 22, 2004
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i have a gmail account, something, that, for some reason, makes me rather proud.
somehow [ie by going shopping. lots] i have more to take back to sheffield than i brought from there just three weeks ago. which is a bit of a pain. for a start, i'm having to leave behind four pairs of trousers, three pairs of shoes and a bottle of gin. all of which i'm obviously going to want the moment i get back to the steel city.
i can't be doing with this two-city living.
the sooner i'm living in manchester full-time, the better.
apologies to the good people of sheffield.
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Wednesday, April 21, 2004
big ron go bye-bye?
odd feelings aroused, once more.
first of all, i'd like it acknowledged that him and clive form the world's greatest commentry duo
this has been a genuine shock.
i fucking love ron.
his cv not only includes us, but also kettering, wednesday and athletico madrid- clubs which i have great affection for.
but him and racism have an odd history.
indeed, as do him and off-mike comments ['he looks a right twat, that totti']
he was a pioneer when it comes to signing black players- notably 'the 3 degrees' at the baggies.
but several black players have complained at the treatment he got off them- notably the great remi moses.
the fact that hes slipped up is sad.
as is that he still has such attitudes.
ah well.
ron, you've blown it.
room 101 has all kind of ironic element tonight...
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lots has been weighing on my mind, recently.
bomb plots on the arndale and all that, for starters.
back on march 12, i wrote about the odd feelings that proximity [however vague] to bloodshed stirred.
granted, nothing [thankfully] happened to The Finest City On Earth, but of couse, it does prompt one to think.
i have, after all, been known to frequent all of the speculated targets. the takeaway sealed off is one that has experienced my custom- indeed, i almost went there friday night. ok, these apply to many, many others, too but there is certainly an odd frisson.
to say that nowhere is safe is fucking daft. no-where is, but nowhere ever has been. manchester is no stranger to terrorism, and, further to that- sudden death pays geography no heed. everyday could be one's last.
but none of that is reason to get too maudlin. but one just can't help thinking about these things. when the police report bigger and bigger quantities of drugs siezed in raids, all it means is that larger and larger amounts of narcotics are being traffiked. so yes, that the police seemingly destroyed a cell over the weekend is great news, but it does leavew one wondering about what else is out there........
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a worrying thought.
are the scissor sisters to 2004 what gay dad were to 1999?
think about it....
aside from the fact that followed each from back in the day, and love[d] each passionately, both are more than a little retrospective in their sound, got as much positive media coverage as negative, both give outspoken, good interviews, and both were seen [in some quarters] as over-hyped novelty nonsense.
i really don't want the 'sisters to implode and limp on horribly a la transmission. i couldn't take that kind of dissapointment twice.
while i'm at it, if phixx don't get to release an album, i'll cry....
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Tuesday, April 20, 2004
musicology, or an advanced phd in body moving then.
don't be put off by the inexplicably cheap packaging. ok, the pictures of prince are nice, and a half-gatefold digipack has a certain appeal, but the package as a whole, and especially the album title looks like it was written on windows '95. this after the lovely album art and design for rave un2 the joy fantastic. but a minor gripe.
like all 'return to form' album reviews [see those of bowie's post-tin machine output for examples], the media have been doing down those that immediatly precede it. but whilst i didn't like n.e.w.s., this isn't that radically different to much of his post-emancipation output. there are no excesses of his previous genre pieces, granted, but any of the tracks from musicology wouldn't be all that out of place on, say, chaos and disorder.
none of this is intended to do musicology down, mind.
not least becuse i fucking love it. the title track remains the stand out, but illusion, coma, pimp & circumstance and cinnamon girl are exquisite slices of sexfunk. prince is probably up on the same level of my personal panthenon as iggy pop, and, much as i'll love everything mr osterberg records, i'll love all of TAKATAFKAP's output. so i'm hardly objective.
musicology, then, is another fine prince album in a long string of fine prince albums.
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more on the weekend/ my drinking habits.
despite me having a fine old time, i was hardly knocking them back.
and compared with my companions, i was exceptionally sober.
yet still on both friday and saturday nights i hallucinated. or at the very least thought odd.
friday, i was convinced that earlier in the night i'd met a lass with a telekinetic denim skirt, which she let me use to 'conduct' the dancefloor.
saturday, as i lay in bed, entwined with a friend, the notion that i was sleeping in an authentic portugese farmer position entered my head. since i never have done such a thing, i can't say how they do sleep*, but i can say that at around half four it made complete sense to me....
maybe i need to be on the wagon proper once more.
*anyone who does, please feel free to drop me a line.
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Monday, April 19, 2004
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one of those sub-con-air-define-irony-deadpan-delivery-things
watching this morning this morning.
looking for work, waiting for a phonecall about prospective employment.
seeing the very factory i was convincied i'd end up working at as the centepiece of an item with fern's husband.
ok, not irony per se, but if i had a better command of the english language it might have been.
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Sunday, April 18, 2004
in two minds
the bastard agency couldn't offer us concrete work for tomorrow on friday, and don't want us to go in on the off chance on monday, preferring me to telephone them.
but do i want a job after all?
ok, i need the money, and i like exercising and getting paid for it. or rather
warehouse labouring.
but i'm a lazy twat too.
with an essay to write, and invitations to socialise in sheffield.....
the hassle of starting a new job is always a pain too. new people, for a start.
for just a week, is it worth it?
i just don't know what to do with myself.
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yesterday i failed to express adequately how fantastic peaches was.
something i regret.
since it was the best non-symbollic [ie bowie/joe] gig i've attended.
not least because it was part of a rather nifty weekend, one outcome of which is my determination to no longer put up with sub-standard nightclubs any longer.
a lack of sleep prevents any insight forming.
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Saturday, April 17, 2004
way back in november, i made the claim that i wanted to be a chick on speed.
truth be told, i'd now rather be peaches.
man alive, what a glorious gig.
from the top then.
i only caught the very end of the first support act, m.a.s.s. or summat. seemingly a woman screaming incoherantly, so no great loss.
but support act the second, berliners kissogram had all the new-wave electro tricks down pat.
smart suits, floppy fringes, deadpan expressions, spasmodic dancing the lot.
not to mention a 'cover' of i wanna be your dog. but with different lyrics.
afterwards, i declared that i could leave then, satisfied.
but obviously, i didn't.
peaches was everything i expected, and more.
her dancers put the piss-poor efforts at fairy to shame.
she cycled through all the guitar-god stylistic cliches with enough vim and detachment.
climbing the amp stacks, three costume changes, metalic ko'd and enough lavicious and lewd behaviour to get executed in medieval england. sorted.
the iggy 'duet' worked where i thought it wouldn't.
ok, so we missed the second encore and her performance of gay bar in order to meet a friend who was waiting for us in such an institution and growing impatient at our being late. ah well.
such was my post-peaches buzz, that even my night in essential [featuring god-awful dance versions of total eclipse of the heart for fuck's sake. after peaches, i want sleaze] dampened my spirits all that much.
what a sucssesful night.
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Friday, April 16, 2004
for all those wondering what really happened to chris casper, reviewer of take that t'other day/all those years ago?
a [slightly] sad story, really
but i'm not altogether sure about the ethics of suing for injuries sustained in the course of a football match.
then again, i'm unsure about the ethics of suing folk in general....
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odd realisation-
i used to be in mcfly.
no, really.
not the mcfly, i'm clearly too old/shit.
but going through some old papers yesterday, i found manuscripts i'd written for my various art rock and/or comedy music endevours.
things i'd clean forgotten about. like my [still unfinished] concept symphony, portrait of ann.
but i'd also forgotten my membership of the loose musical collective [translates as me and few few mates arsing around with microphones, poorly played instruments and basic sound manipulation software], often known as the all-new chicago hot five, but renaming ourselves every week or so.
including, in tribute to our back to the future fixation, mcfly, for a fortnight or so.
not a genuine claim to fame, per se, but being able to say that 'i was in mcfly back in the day', without lying is rather cool.
or at least i think it is.
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Thursday, April 15, 2004
i bought the a*teens debut album the other day.
it did nothing for me.
if revamped abba cover versions fail to move me, what hope have i got?
but i'm also all but invisible to train conductors. which saves ££££'s
and my semi-permanant existential crisis has become vague exasperation.
overall then, i'm in [spiritual] credit.
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shit.
david byrne at the bridgewater hall tonight.
sold out.
why wasn't i informed sooner?
bollocks.
scissor sisters [back to back], yeah yeah yeahs, david byrne and peaches in ten-odd days would have been too much to take perhaps, mind.
on the plus side, i got the '97 home united shirt [eric's last/ the one beckham scored from the halfway line in] and a classy early-90s [bandai sponsored] puma athletico madrid shirt were purchased for less than a tenner. which doesn't quite make up for missing my favourite quirky new wave new yorker, but helps soften the blow somewhat.
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004
its still just wednesday, but i'm already inordinatley looking forward to this weekends festivities.
ok, anticipating peaches is no bad thing. neither is looking forward to having some of my favourite components of my collective assembled in The Finest City On Earth for it, i suppose.
but anticipating a night in essential [not through choice, mind] with this level of exitement?
sick.
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from manchester united magazine, volume 3, issue 4 [april '95] p.4
red hot sounds-extra!
second coming, stone roses.
reviewed by simon davies.
"i was quite surprised when i heard this. their first album was brilliant and somehow i don't think second coming is in the same league. i did consider myself to be a 'roses fan, but i just can't get into this one- and believe me, i've tried! not worth wainting five years for"
red hot rating one flame [presumably out of five]
everything changes, take that
reviewed by chris casper
"i'm not take that's biggest fan, although david beckham loves them! obviously they're very popular and i've seen them on tv and they seem pretty good live. i would probably go to one of their concerts with a group of mates, but you won't find me putting their cds on at home"
red hot rating three flames
best of new order
reviewd by gary neville
"respect to them, but new order aren't my cup of tea. i'm more into mor stuff like tina turner, certainly not rave or anything heavy. something i can relax to... new order don't really fit the bill"
red hot rating two flames
all cds available from virgin megastores nationwide, apparentley.
this amused me in so many ways.
for the record- the simon davies is a welsh midfielder, but not the same one who now turns out for spurs and the principality. he didn't make it with us, i'm not sure if he even made the first team.
chris casper was a defender, and like simon, yet another of fergie's fledglings [mk II] who got lost somewhere on the way. he may well have played in our fa cup loss to york before going ending up at blackpool. but that could just as well be john o'kane. regardless, is he au fait with beckham's current musical tastes?
gary neville obviously has no taste. but is the only one of the three reviewers to do anything on the pitch. coincidence, perhaps.
but maybe my inherant impeccable taste in all fields is why i was never going to become a professional sportsman.....
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